My wife is my mirror, so when she says I screw up I have really screwed up.
God gave her to me as a help meet- not mate- meet to reveal to me where I fall short. She is also the reflection of who I am in truth. So when I blow it, and it happens way too much, she will let me know without a doubt.
Recently, I received comments on this blog that were published that were making accusations. I do not know if they were false or not, and they were published. I was informed by one of the parties involved that they were false, or at least, not fully true. It was the responsible thing, the right thing, the graceful thing to remove them.
Worse than that, I found a letter trolling the internet that was written by the person who was that wronged party. Now these notes were not signed, but this one was. Same IP address. A passionate and obvious cry for help. Still, one sided only.
I let my emotion get the best of me (kids involved), but I did not think through what I did. Publishing that letter and allowing those comments was gossiping. I guess I didn’t realize it, but I had crossed the line, the fine line, of spreading a tale that I did not know to be true. Although I didn’t write the letter, by copying it and sending it on and allowing others to read it, I was just as guilty as those who have that special prayer request about someone that has the special headline that makes it more juicy.
Not only that, it had the opposite effect that I truly desired it to have. It hurt people, and it shut down the possibility of communication. I truly desire all marital relationships, especially with those in the church, to be reflections of Christ and the church as they are supposed to be. When there is a broken relationship within the church, no matter the circumstances, it is a tragedy. I have seen that tragedy all around me. I have seen ripple effects on my own marriage. It breaks my heart.
I am not making excuses, I was wrong, and I am sorry. I am sorry to the parties who were hurt, but I am also sorry to those whose eyes were exposed and how it has affected their opinions of the person who was written about. I am sorry, because it is a bad reflection on Christ, not that He did not call out sin (he did) but it was always for a redemptive purpose. I get the feeling from those involved and those who have read what I have now deleted that it didn’t seem like it was written in love and for the purpose of redemption. In fact, I know some involved got real angry.
It seems it was they’re right to be angry.
I was wrong, and I hope, truly, that this marriage is redeemed for the glory of Christ.
I know that in Christ I have forgiveness, but I hope I can reconcile with those who I have hurt. It starts with the 7 words my wife loves to hear “I was wrong and I am sorry”
Followed by “will you forgive me?”
Peace.
I appreciate John’s openness and transparency. I agree that gossip is unfruitful and wrong, and I spoke out aggressively against it.
However Paul did rebuke the leadership of the church at Corith when they failed to deal with an inappropriate situation. I have no way of knowing how accurate the facts may be, but if those facts are true then the pastor and his elders must act regardless of his friendship with the offender.
Hi John its Andy from Info , just wanted to drop in and say hi and that i appreciate ur post …
I do wonder if people were as indignant when people were gossiping about Todd Bentley?? Were you Rick??
That is correct. If there is sin within the local body, it is incumbant upon the Pastors and the Elders to deal with that sin. If they refuse, it is not a church in the new testament sense. If the accusations are true, then there is gross sexual sin happening and it needs to be addressed. For those in public ministry, who fall and will not repent, there needs to be the same call as Paul in 1 Corinthians 5. I am not compromising that stand. But it is wrong to gossip.
I had no interaction with anyone about Bentley.
Ok sorry Rick i wasn’t being rude just a tad frustrated on Johns behalf …Hes writes a lot of solid stuff which is biblically correct , but just gets snide remarks for his troubles , so i kind of understand why he lost the plot….
It just strikes me as so precious over at Info sometimes , for example the all C21 thing people actually posted “well i don’t agree with a lot of whats said there” but then turn right round and critize John for highlighting what is wrong with it !!!!
The ministry of being wrong.
http://judahslion.blogspot.com/2009/02/ministry-of-being-wrong-i-was-born.html
Whos that directed to Rick ? Because i agree with John on a lot of points i’m now ticking all the boxes you use to???
We can still be honest but speak it in love , im not against any of the points in your piece , but thats not going to stop me voicing concerns..
Tony and Doug are wayyyyyyyy out on a limb these days , and no ones pulling them on it ,they would rather pull John on not being polite!!
I can’t see how you let a lot of things slide over at Info to be honest , its like running with foxes hunting with hounds if your not careful !
It is not directed at anyone. And you obviously have not payed attention to my overall comments on info. My presence is many times not appreciated.